Why Filipinas Should Marry the Old Fart

I chuckled to myself the other day when I saw a young buck, a foreigner, prancing around at SM City in Iloilo with an attractive young Filipina. Little did this pretty pinay realize she should marry the old fart.

Now the old foreigner fart, if he is at least 62 years and an American, could be collecting a Social Security pension and have a steady source of income. The old codger could even be younger if he’s milking the government for Social Security Disability.

If the expat is Turkish, he could retire at the age of 45 as long as they’ve worked for 25 years. I haven’t seen many Turkish expats around and frankly, I don’t know what a Turk looks like.

So I “Google” “what does a turk look like.” I get “what does a turkey look like.” I try again. Google Images now shows a bunch of images with some dude named Christopher Turk. I’m still getting the “Did you mean what does a turkey look like” line. I find out Christopher Turk is some doctor that was portrayed in the sitcom “Scrubs.”

I’m pretty sure that’s not what a guy from Turkey looks like but I hit pay dirt with the following image from Google.

what does a turk look like

I run across a World War I Russian propaganda poster depicting an oriental imagined Turk running away from a Russian (Source: Wikipedia.) But I’m still at a loss since I’ve never seen any expat running around SM City with a fez, red jammies and pointy shoes.

I have seen, however, expats running around with beer bellies protruding from their too tight tank tops.

So if you’re a Filipina looking for a foreigner with money, these Turkish dudes should be easy to spot. Just because I’ve never seen one doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Maybe they’re in Manila but I haven’t seen seen them in the province.

But let’s get back to the old guy who has a government pension like Social Security. You’re going to find a lot more of these old bastards around than that Turk guy. I’ve seen swarms of these seniors with young Filipinas hanging out at SM Malls in Cebu and Iloilo City. I even wrote a story a few years back about a guy that had a girlfriend in the Philippines 50 years his junior.

So hook up with the old dude that has a pension, ladies. Don’t worry, he can buy some Viagra on the street here. The young guys aren’t collecting Social Security and when they do reach retirement age, Social Security will be bankrupt by then anyway.

I could also give you a line of bull and advise you to marry an older guy because he’s more mature and responsible. We’re not. It only boils down to the money. The old geezer is at least going to collect Social Security if he isn’t already plus he’s going to be asleep by 8:00 pm anyway giving you plenty of time to watch your favorite Filipino dramas on ABS CBN.

So marry the old fart. Ditch the young guy. And start collecting cash from your live-in ATM.


  1. Dave,
    Anne is trying so set up her 19 year old 2nd Cousin who has a 6 month old baby with my 58 year old brother. I just laughed. There is no way my brother would do that. Can you imagine how that would go over in the States lol. Anne says age is just a number and it would give her cousin, who she calls her niece a good future. I’m sure it would i told her, but it ain’t going to happen.

  2. Yep, Papa Duck, I can imagine the looks that your brother would get if he married Anne’s cousin and brought her to the States. Before I met Melinda, through a pen pal service, I was getting letters from 19 year old Filipinas. I was 46 at the time. That wasn’t going to happen. Fortunately Melinda came along. She’s 13 years younger than me and the smartest thing I’ve ever done in my life was to marry her. Take care.

  3. Dave Before the invention of the Inter-Net you would very seldom see Old Foreigners married to young Filipinas. Because there was very few places to meet them. Even when I got Married and wife was 2 years older then me. Filipinos still looked down on her for marring a Foreigner. But I guess after 50 years things have changed even if some still doesn’t agree. In the Provence where we live people who doesn’t know us will ask my wife if I am her son in law because she doesn’t dye her hair. And she will get pissed. I guess they thank I must be Married to one of her daughters. HA!HA!

  4. I sat next to a guy from Turkey on a flight from Manila to Bangkok who had spent some time in the Philippines. I asked him how he liked it there and he said he didn’t. He remarked that Filipinos thought he smelled bad and would get up and move in a bus or jeep to avoid him. I couldn’t smell a thing and he seemed like a nice person.

  5. Hi Dave- My niece married an old fart from the South. She was 23 y/o and he was 57 y/o at that time. They’d been married 4 years now. He’s not collecting SS benefit yet. They meet through your matchmaking website, FilipinoCupid If I recall. He seems to be able to provide for her as a Building Contractor. I have lost touch w/ both of them eversince her husband found out thru facebook that I am a democrat. It surprises me how one reacts base on which side of politics you are in. Nevertheless, I found out the two are getting along well; and that’s all that matters to me.

  6. Hi, Leona, thanks for the reply. Sorry I’m so late with my response. I have some problems with spam comments on this new website and haven’t sorted everything out on it yet. Good to hear from you.

  7. Probably is a nice person, Rob in Az. My wife had a similar experience with Indians when she worked in Singapore. I think the food that the Indians ate gave off an odor that my wife didn’t like. Surprising, since she’s married to me and I’m sure I stink up the place when I don’t take a shower right away. 🙂

  8. Good to hear from you, George. I met my wife through a pen pal service. Didn’t have a computer installed yet. My wife, 13 years younger than me, occasionally still gets looks from the locals (she looks far younger than her age while I do look like an old fart.) 🙂

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