I chuckled to myself the other day when I saw a young buck, a foreigner, prancing around at SM City in Iloilo with an attractive young Filipina. Little did this pretty pinay realize she should marry the old fart.
Now the old foreigner fart, if he is at least 62 years and an American, could be collecting a Social Security pension and have a steady source of income. The old codger could even be younger if he’s milking the government for Social Security Disability.
If the expat is Turkish, he could retire at the age of 45 as long as they’ve worked for 25 years. I haven’t seen many Turkish expats around and frankly, I don’t know what a Turk looks like.
So I “Google” “what does a turk look like.” I get “what does a turkey look like.” I try again. Google Images now shows a bunch of images with some dude named Christopher Turk. I’m still getting the “Did you mean what does a turkey look like” line. I find out Christopher Turk is some doctor that was portrayed in the sitcom “Scrubs.”
I’m pretty sure that’s not what a guy from Turkey looks like but I hit pay dirt with the following image from Google.
I run across a World War I Russian propaganda poster depicting an oriental imagined Turk running away from a Russian (Source: Wikipedia.) But I’m still at a loss since I’ve never seen any expat running around SM City with a fez, red jammies and pointy shoes.
I have seen, however, expats running around with beer bellies protruding from their too tight tank tops.
So if you’re a Filipina looking for a foreigner with money, these Turkish dudes should be easy to spot. Just because I’ve never seen one doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Maybe they’re in Manila but I haven’t seen seen them in the province.
But let’s get back to the old guy who has a government pension like Social Security. You’re going to find a lot more of these old bastards around than that Turk guy. I’ve seen swarms of these seniors with young Filipinas hanging out at SM Malls in Cebu and Iloilo City. I even wrote a story a few years back about a guy that had a girlfriend in the Philippines 50 years his junior.
So hook up with the old dude that has a pension, ladies. Don’t worry, he can buy some Viagra on the street here. The young guys aren’t collecting Social Security and when they do reach retirement age, Social Security will be bankrupt by then anyway.
I could also give you a line of bull and advise you to marry an older guy because he’s more mature and responsible. We’re not. It only boils down to the money. The old geezer is at least going to collect Social Security if he isn’t already plus he’s going to be asleep by 8:00 pm anyway giving you plenty of time to watch your favorite Filipino dramas on ABS CBN.
So marry the old fart. Ditch the young guy. And start collecting cash from your live-in ATM.